This article was in The Daily Movement this morning...
SIZE MATTERS... WHEN IT COMES TO PLATE RACING
Phil Adelphia - Movement Senior Motorcar Racing Reporter
This reporter has inside double secret information that the recent rumours about the great restrictor plate conspiracy are indeed true. NA$CAR as the steward of the sport has the ability to level the playing field this weekend at Talladega by issuing oversized restrictor plates to select teams in order to change the outcome of the race and increase fans interest and hence increase income for the France family.
In the Spring race, Danica Go Daddy Go Go was issued the prized plate, but Mike H. commented in a secret meeting after the race, "It just gave her the ability to hit the SAFER barrier harder than she would have without the plate!"
This race weekend the word is that Jeff Burton and Joey Lagano will be the lucky plate recipients. "It's time to shake up the Chase a little and make it interesting," was the comment overheard from an anonymous source known only by their secret code name, B. France.
In other news, Richard Childress announced in a press conference that he has finally determined the root cause of the problem with the #29 Team. "We tried changing crew chiefs, team members, new cars, sponsors, decals, fan club president, you name it, we changed it. If fact I even changed my underwear, which is something I frequently forget to do at my age."
He continued, "We have finally figured out that the problem with the #29 is the driver! Wow! Who would have thought that! In fact, as I look at all of the RCR drivers, I have decided that our inventory of driver talent is pretty sad. I've come to realize that many of the other teams have tow rig drivers that have more talent than my RCR drivers. That's why I have made a decision to try and sign the Busch brothers to drive for me. Yes, I sucker punched the younger one and have made some nasty comments about the older one, but I've come to the conclusion that if I ever want a chance to win another championship, I need to clean house and hire these guys."
Lastly, Greg "The Wheelman" Biffle who is now toast in the Chase did an autograph session at a local Subway Shop and the only person that showed up was a guy named Jared.
