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Topics - Ratzso

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1
Racing Discussion / Bumpin' and Blocking Made Me a Fan Again...
« on: February 15, 2020, 05:59:42 PM »


Belated Happy Valentine's Day to all.

I just finished watching some good hard racin' in the 'Finity Series and I'm back as a fan of NA$CAR.  Top level racin' is crashin' and I'm a fan.

Like many other Race New Yorkers, I haven't watched much Cup racing, focusing instead on other sports like water polo, Australian rules football and beach volleyball.  (I also have enjoyed hanging out at the Mall and doing macaroni art.)

Along with the Clash and Duels, the bump drafting and blocking have produced some of the most exciting racin' I have seen.  The team racing concept with Ford, Toyota and Chevrolet provides another great element.

Looking forward to the 500 tomorrow when the top professionals get the chance to show their blocking skills in the Great American Race.

Won't even venture a guess at a winner...

(Let me say in advance that I agree with any comments made on this thread.)

Respectfully Submitted,

J. Langford Ratzso


2
Racing Discussion / Brad Keselowski and Billy Byron....
« on: July 05, 2019, 02:16:28 PM »
I Just caught the video of Brad Keselowski and Billy Byron during the final practice at Daytona for the upcoming race on Saturday.  If you haven't seen it, Brad (the blockee) had a run and Billy (the blocker) decided to practice his blocking technique.  Brad failed (intentionally) to reduce his right foot pressure on the accelerator pedal. I would say in general terms that Billy's block was unsuccessful. You can look at the video and judge for yourself.

Brad was unapologetic and suggested that blocking should be left on the football field where it belongs. I made this part up, but the message was clear - don't block me.

All of this reminded me of a race at Shangri La Speedway when I working in the pits back in about 1972 when a competitor by the name of Mr. Richie Evans came over to the pit of a fellow competitor after a heat race and had a brief but friendly discussion with driver about the potential negative impacts of blocking aforementioned Mr. Evans.  A polite social visit but the message was clear - don't block me.

Through what I believe is sheer coincidence, the driver Mr. Evans spoke to after the heat race incurred an unfortunate spin and trip off the track during the feature event.

Which brings me to my question to the denizens of Racing New York:  "Blocking?  A legitimate part of the sport of automobile racing or a good way to get punted?"

That's all I got.  Don't block me....

Very Truly Yours,

J. Langford Ratzso


"The problem with pictures on the Internet is you have no way of proving their authenticity."  - Abraham Lincoln

3
Racing Discussion / Aero Season is Here...
« on: February 10, 2019, 01:31:22 PM »


Good Citizens of Racing New York,

I was flipping though the channels trying to find a good home cooking or baking show or a home improvement show with tips on how to find a trophy wife, buy houses for massive amounts of money, flip them, lose money but not really give a rat's hind end 'cause you still have a beautiful wife.

In the flipping, I accidently came across a channel with some racin' reminding me that we are into Aero Season.  Aero Season falls in between Winter and Spring and is the time of year when all of the France Cup stars go to Daytona speed weeks and talk about Aero Push and other racing clichés.

I'm looking forward with great anticipation hearing the drivers, crews, announcers and other pundits regurgitate all of the esoteric terms that help describe the racing action. 

The cars were barely off pit road for practice and I heard the term, "Aero Push!"  I fully expect by the time the 500 is over next Sunday, I'll have heard the full gambetto of "we" clichés such as:

"We did what we hadda' do." (after "we" punted someone from the lead)
"We were the car to beat.  Until we got taken out.:
"We was just ridin' waitin' to go the front when we lost a tire."
"We was just tryin' to loosen him up." (after causing a 37 car wreck)

That's all I got....

J. Langford Ratzazonni


4
Racing Discussion / He's Got a Ticket to Ride... Maybe...
« on: October 29, 2018, 01:44:41 PM »
I don't watch NA$CAR but my stunt double does and he said there was a dust up of sorts yesterday at the Virginia race.

Apparently, two racing car drivers from the Northeast got into a festuche on the last lap, one dude, the "bumper," won using the "Free to do anything to win move on the last lap," and in doing so has a free ticket to the championship event at Miami next month and a chance to be the France Cup Champion in 2018.   

But hold the presses!  News Flash!  In an interview after the race, the other dude who was the "bumpee," was less than happy about the move by the "bumper" and said the free ticket was stolen and there is a good chance it may be voided!  He seems to be a very believable chap.

Any denizens of Racing New York see this spectacle and if so, have any opinions regarding this, that, the other thing or good shows to watch on the Food Channel?

That's all I got....

Rataman

5
Racing Discussion / >>>>----->>>> Richmond Infinity and Beyond Race....
« on: September 22, 2018, 11:08:33 AM »
Anyone else think that the dude driving the #88 car last night in the Infinity and Beyond race at Richmond who led the most laps, won stage #2 and finished 4th might have some potential as a driver?

That's all I got.....

Ratman



Warning: “This posting should be read only by those persons to whom it is addressed. If you have received this message it was obviously addressed to you and therefore you can read it. However, if the contents of this do not apply to you then you probably were not the intended recipient. This copyrighted Ratzso Posting is also protected and may not be reproduced or retransmitted in any form, and the accounts and descriptions given in this tome may not be disseminated without express written consent.”

6
Racing Discussion / Racespeak - It Aint Regular English....
« on: September 15, 2018, 06:15:22 PM »
I was channel surfing and trying to tune into Cupcake Wars on the Food Network when I accidently got one of the motorcar racing channels and a crack France Cup pit reporters was doing a driver interview. I was in the mood for a good hard racin' interview.

The driver being interviewed was decked out in his driver suit with the names of his 137 sponsors, his hat pulled down to display his primary sponsor, a pair of designer sunglasses covered so much of his face that it was difficult to determine who was being interviewed.  Could have been Bruce Vilanch or Barry Manilow for all I know.  He was careful to make sure that he took a refreshing drink of his favorite beverage and that his watch was visible where his sleeve was pulled up. (It still puzzles me why a driver needs to wear a watch while driving a racecar?)

Fundamentally, the driver was being asked why, given he was part of a multi-car top level team with a ton of sponsors, his performance on track was in the toilet?

After taking time to mention his sponsors, giving a call out to his wife, kids, parents, grandparents, cousins, the girl at the coffee shop with the magnificent chest and all the great France Cup Fans, he needed to be reminded what the original question was.  After the pit reporter restated the question, the driver metaphorically took a turd, rolled it in glitter, added a heavy layer of sugar, put a final coat of wax on it and spoke about all the fantastic progress that he and team were making with their racing program.  (I love when they talk about their, "program.")

Then he paused (for effect) and said, "Our finishes don't reflect how really, really good this race team is."

"Our finishes don't reflect how really, really good this race team is?"  Huh?  I thought finishes were the measure in racing?

I thought, "This makes no sense?"   Then I had to slap myself as I realized that he was speaking "Racespeak." 

Racespeak is entirely different than normal speak.  I've come up with a definition of Racespeak:  It is a form of doublespeak.  Words are used to form a sentence which make absolutely no logical sense in the normal context of the English language, but when used in a racing sound bite, make perfect sense.

Anyone else have any examples of Racespeak?

That's all I got...

Ratman



7
Racing Discussion / I thought NA$CAR was boring.....
« on: August 18, 2018, 02:34:51 PM »
Holy donut holes, Batman! 

I thought NA$CAR was becoming boring but I just came across Indy Car Qualifying at Pocono!

Wow!  This could put an insomniac drinking a cup of coffee to sleep.....

Heading to Chemung to see some real racing tonight...... if it don't rain.  I'll be wearing dungarees, Hawaiian shirt and disco shoes.  Wave hello if you spot me.

That's all I got.....

Ratman

8
Racing Discussion / I Love the Splitter!!!
« on: April 07, 2018, 05:32:58 PM »
I love the NA$CAR mandated front splitter!

Nothing good (no pun intended) on the Food Channel and the Lifetime movie is a rerun so I tuned my trusty Philco TV to the NA$CAR minor league series race at Texas.  Must have been a single file start because that's the way they've been since I tuned in.

Typical cold Texas weather and the drivers are like a bunch of kids with their Learners Permit driving on the first snow of the season.

Just saw someone miss a wreck, skid into the infield grass, catch the splitter on the turf and shred the front of the car.

Good hard racing at its best....

9
Racing Discussion / >>>>>>>>----------------> High Drama in NA$CAR.....
« on: November 03, 2017, 01:33:02 PM »
I've been trying to get away from the Dennis Hamlin and Chase Elliot dust up that happened at Martinsville last week but it's nearly impossible.  It's been played up so much that the next time I hear about it I think I'll puke.  It was even mentioned by Kathy Lee on the View and it was brought up by the Cake Boss while he was waiting for the soufflé to rise or fall on an episode of the food channel.

NA$CAR has seized the moment and it playing it up like the mystery of Who Shot J.R. on the sitcom, Dallas.  (Spoiler alert, it was Kristin, J.R.'s scheming sister-in-law and mistress.)  They have them parked next to each other in the garage area for the weekend race at Texas.  Coincidence? I think not.

In any case, I'm not convinced or buying this is a real feud that will result in anything happening on track at Texas this Sunday.

But just to be sure, I'm tuning in on Sunday to see what happens.....

That's all I got.

Ratzso

“Activate the plasma flow controller.”


10
Racing Discussion / >>>> Carl Edwards >>>>
« on: March 04, 2017, 11:38:55 AM »
Hey race fans, Carl Edwards who pulled the plug on his driving career before the start of the season, flew his aeroplane to Atlanta for the race this weekend. 

He reportedly packed his helmet and Nomex driving suit.

Do you think Edwards is done racing in NA$AR's top echelon or will he be in a racecar sometime in 2017????

"Rock on in the free world..."

11
Racing Discussion / [] Full Field at Martinsville! []
« on: April 03, 2016, 01:21:35 PM »
Full field at Martinsville for the France Cup race today so I'm glued to the TV to watch and cheer on my favorite driver.

I only watch races with a full field.

Predicting that this will be Danica's day and her first win.

12
Racing Discussion / >>>>> 2016 Daytona 500 Winner? <<<<<
« on: February 17, 2016, 04:18:02 PM »
Top ten fastest in qualifying listed or add your pick....

13
Racing Discussion / Random Thoughts for the New Year. . .
« on: January 04, 2016, 01:33:34 PM »
Happy New Year!

As the saga of who will be the promoter at Dundee in 2016 continues to play out, the Social Media Police clamp down on negativity and we prepare for another season of good hard racin’, here are some of my random thoughts and observations. . .


~  Given the choice between Crates, open motors or no racing, I’ll take Crates…

~  Any movie with the Minions is worth watching…

~  I’m still not convinced that Jeff Gordon is retired from driving…

~  Everything will work exactly as expected, unless your expectations are incorrect…

~  Not enough good has been said about Dale Campfield and what he did for local racing…

~  If you have acne, you shouldn’t be allowed to drive a racecar….

~  Is there anyone racing who doesn’t work in the ‘Gray’ area of the rules?

~  The Moody Mile is gone and I’m not feeling so well myself…

~  Rules should be limited to one page, double spaced…

~  Read everything you can that is written by columnist Bones Bourcier…

~  Richie Evans would have been 75 in July of this year…

14
Caution!  Achtung! Warning!  Disclaimer!  Please ignore this posting if you are not a fan of NA$CAR or sarcasm as it may upset you.  Fever, chills or conniption fits could result.  Call your doctor if any of these symptoms last longer than four hours.
 
This article was on the back page of the special “Pope Pops into America ” commemorative edition of The Daily Movement newspaper.  I am not responsible for the content of this article, just passing it on for all of the race addicts on the great RaceNY board.
 
Ratzso

 
 


Kevin Harvick Continues on His Promise to Pound JGR Teams into the Ground

Sal Manila – The Daily Movement Vatican Correspondent and Roving Motorsports Reporter

“We will not quit,” was the latest comment from the teammate of Danica Patrick.
 
Prior to the first race for the Chase at Chicago in mid-September, Kevin Harvick was queried about the success of the JGR teams, Harvick smiled. (Direct Quote) "I think we're going to pound them into the ground," he said. "That's what I think. Hopefully, they can beat themselves."
 
Asked if he thought his Stewart-Haas Racing team was better than JGR, Harvick said, (Direct Quote) “I don't know that we're better than them, but I think for us, it's all about having the experience. It's really not about having the fastest car. It's about having the experience to be able to go out and handle the emotions of the 10 weeks.”
 
Preparing for the third race of the Chase, Harvick, A.K.A., The Imitator, finds himself in 15th place with drivers from the JGR team in First – Second and Third place.  It is likely that without a win at Dover, he will be eliminated from the Chase.
 
The Imitator wasn’t available to share his updated master plan to pound the JGR teams into the ground as he was receiving treatment for the boo boo on his knuckles when he punched Johnson on the shoulder after the race at Chicago because he was upset that Six Time raced Harvick like Harvick races everyone.  When asked about whether he was injured by the punch, Six Time replied, “My wife hits harder than that.”
 
Harvick’s wife who reportedly wears his drivers suit when they are in their luxury motorhome, did release some comments to the media that the bad luck Kevin was experiencing was not his fault and was the result of a conspiracy by others.  That list of suspects included:  Six Time, Rodney Childers, JGR, His Pit Crew, Tom Brady, ECR, Bill Belichick, his gas man, MWR and the New England Patriots as a team.
 
When JGR was asked about Harvick’s comments and the ferocious pounding they are experiencing from his team in the Chase for the 2015 France Cup Championship, their spokesperson responded by saying they were embarrassed by a lack of knowledge regarding the comments.
 
They went on to say, “We had heard rumors surrounding the Imitator’s claim but we were so darn busy staying focused on race preparations that we never had the chance to follow up on them.  Please extend our apology to Harvick if he ever comes out of hiding in his motor coach before the race on Sunday.”

15
Racing Discussion / Random Thoughts.....
« on: September 09, 2015, 12:34:25 PM »
As another season of racing is starting to wind down, here in no particular order are some of my thoughts and observations as a long time fan.  I started going to races with my father in 1954.  Yep, I'm old....


~ Chemung Speedrome seems to get it.  Nice facility, good food, no bad seats in the house and the races I've attended have me wanting to come back.

~ Canandaigua also has it together.  If you haven't been there you need to see the Big Block Mods do their thing...

~  Blocking is not racing regardless of what you think...

~  Jeff Gordon is not likely to win a race in his last year as a full time driver.  (Also, I don't believe for a minute that he is done racing.)

~  If you thought that Danica would finally develop as a driver, think again...

~  NA$CAR keeps telling me the racing is getting better.  Don't pi$$ on my foot and tell me it's raining...

~  Tracks with banking provide faster speeds but flat tracks provide better competition...

~  I'm tired of hearing about aero push and aero loose....

~  I believe that Dutch Hoag (I'm a big Richie fan too!) may be the all time best shoe to ever sit in a Modified - just my opinion...

~  The safety features built into the cars today has saved more injuries than we'll probably ever know...

~  Bump and run means my talent as a driver isn't good enough to beat you but I can wreck you....

Ratzso


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